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All about Alex
Dr. Savita Collins was a busy otolaryngologist on a fast track toward tenure. Then Alex taught her what's really important. By Victoria Stagg Elliott
Savita Collins, MD, wanted to puke. She was stuck in a van driving from Denver to Florida with a bunch of other doctors.
They were all heading home from the American Academy of Otolaryngology-Head and Neck Surgery annual conference. It was just a few days after Sept. 11, 2001, and flights were still grounded. The group was racing against the threat of a possible hurricane back home. And Dr. Collins had morning sickness.
In just the first few months of her pregnancy and barely showing, Dr. Collins was beginning two journeys -- one, a long, hard road trip home and the other culminating in the birth of her son, an event that would radically alter her career plans and personal priorities.
But it didn't seem that way in the beginning.
The first few months of pregnancy didn't slow Dr. Collins down, despite the nausea. Co-workers at the otolaryngologist's Gainesville, Fla., clinic left stomach-settling snacks for her all over the office because her schedule barely left her time to eat. They still had to kick her out of the office at the end of day. It wasn't until the sixth month that Dr. Collins admitted pregnancy was starting to slow her down, despite her best efforts.
"I'm getting a little more tired at the end of the day and more aches and pains," she said in November 2001. "Work is getting harder and harder."
She kept at it, however, assuring patients that their surgeries wouldn't be disrupted by an early birth. She also started making arrangements for returning to work after maternity leave. She worked on setting up her postbirth office schedule so it would be more 9 to 5. She set up a home office so she could spend more time with the baby and arranged for a nanny for the times when she or her husband, Mike, a freelance computer programmer and master's degree student, couldn't be available.
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It wasn't until the 6th month that Dr. Collins admitted pregnancy was slowing her down. |
"I'll be sad that I'm not overworked," she said before the birth. "There's something quite pathologic about that."
She set goals for what she would accomplish during her maternity leave, ignoring many early clues that things might not go as planned.
"I told one of my partners I was going to work on a couple manuscripts during my maternity leave, and he just started laughing," she said in November 2001.
And then she got her first hint that, despite all the planning, some things were going to be beyond her control.
Braxton Hicks contractions hit in mid-February, two weeks before her due date, and she panicked. She had things to do.
"I still had phone messages to return," she said then. "I have two days in the OR planned. I'm hoping I don't go early because I'd like to get caught up on paperwork. ... But whatever happens, happens."
Alexander Prakash Collins, now 7 months old, was born early on Monday, March 4, exactly when he was due. The eight-week maternity leave, which once seemed like a huge blank slate, shrank and then disappeared. Almost instantly, the work-related goals that had been her priority took a back seat to Alex.
"That surprised me," said Dr. Collins, 36.
Back from maternity leave for four months, home and work are starting to settle into a routine.
At work, the quiet of her office is interrupted by the sounds that indicate she is needed. There's the ding of e-mail message alerts from her computer, the beep of her pager and the knocking on her door by people who want a moment of her time.
It's always something, but now it isn't always work-related. Her husband e-mails digital pictures of Alex as he takes them. Sometimes the message on her pager isn't a medical emergency but a note saying: "Alex misses you." Most days, she leaves the office on time. Her co-workers don't have to kick her out quite so often.
Dr. Collins is talking with the head of her department at the University of Florida in Gainesville, where she is an assistant professor of otolaryngology, about how to keep on track for tenure -- although she acknowledges the goal is no longer all-encompassing. Indeed, she briefly contemplated not returning to work after maternity leave. She realized not practicing wasn't for her, but she does sometime dream of part-time work in the private sector, something that might give her more time at home.
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She works to maintain productivity at the office while spending more time at home. |
"I would never have thought of leaving academia before," she said. "If you'd asked me before Alex: 'What happens if you don't get tenure?' I would have told you it would be a disaster. Now, I feel we'd just step back and reassess what to do next. Alex has changed my perspective."
And, in turn, her way of life.
Dr. Collins has delegated some administrative duties and limited the number of evening meetings she's willing to attend.
"I need to concentrate on what's important. The research, the patient care and getting tenure, while having more time with my family."
She's headed to her annual conference again this year, but planning the trip was harder. She really doesn't want to leave Alex.
"It's hard to miss stuff. Medical conferences have lost their appeal. It really has to be worth something to leave Alex and Mike and go someplace."
But to make it worth it, Dr. Collins is trying to pack everything into her precious week away, including additional allergy training. She hopes to introduce allergy treatment into her practice to allow her to maintain her productivity while also spending more time at home, where she has also given up the concept of doing it all.
Her home has more of a lived-in look. Home-cooked meals these days are usually made by the nanny, and that's OK.
"That couple hours after work before he goes to sleep is so precious," Dr. Collins said. "Otherwise, we would either not be eating healthy or I'd be spending less time with him."
There's no doubt that Alex's arrival has shaken up her life. But she's not complaining.
"You look at him and he does something really cute. And it's worth it."
