Divorce: Tips on getting through the split

To ensure a less painful process and a minimum of financial loss, a physician is better off cooperating than erecting roadblocks.

By Cheryl Jackson, AMNews staff. Oct. 21, 2002.

Hollywood, Fla., cardiothoracic surgeon Michael Rosenbloom, MD, was in the operating room one afternoon in 1999, finishing his surgical schedule when the page from his lawyer came.

His wife had filed for divorce.

With that, he was off. Canceling surgeries for the next two days. Looking for a place to live. Starting a process that would consume three years of his life.

"You're not prepared. You want to be prepared, but you're never prepared," says Dr. Rosenbloom, whose divorce was finalized earlier this year.

One of the most difficult things to do when the news of a divorce comes is to keep emotions in check, but it's the best thing physicians can do to make sure the painful process goes as smoothly as possible, and that productivity and quality of care don't suffer, say attorneys, experts and even doctors who have seen their marriages split say .

"It's like separating from your partners. [Deciding] what you're trying to divide. How to separate assets like you would in a partnership," says Carl Nechtman, MD, a Birmingham, Ala., otolaryngologist who was divorced from his physician wife in 1998. "I was advised very early on to treat this as a business separation."

Often, lawyers say, the problem is that many doctors treat even their own divorce counsel as if they are the opposing attorney in a malpractice case. Not cooperating and being forthright, especially with financial information, can cost a lot more long term than might be saved in the short term.

"The best way to save money is to over-cooperate. If the lawyer says he needs papers on the bank account, then while you're at it get the 401(k)s and the whole financial picture," says Houston attorney J. Lindsey Short, president of the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers. "Now you've saved tons of time for a lawyer, and the physician has probably saved at least $5,000 in legal costs." [...]