Sept. 11 reminds us of doctors' loving role

Commentary. By Michael Greenberg, MD, AMNews contributor. Oct. 8, 2001.

COMMENTARY

Observations on the state of medical practice and medical life

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Tuesday, Sept. 11, began as a perfect day. I ate a healthy breakfast, worked out and felt the pleasure of the late summer sun as I walked my dog before leaving for my office. I had no idea how quickly the day would deteriorate into an emotional hell and remind me of how suddenly our lives can be forever altered.

I walked into the physicians' lounge to check my mailbox. "An airplane's hit the World Trade Center," a colleague said. "It's terrible."

A small crowd of doctors was watching the TV that's usually tuned to the stock market channel. I stared in detached disbelief, as if what I was seeing was an action movie somebody had slipped into the VCR. I left before the extent of the horror unfolded.

Informed by patients that what I had seen was no freak accident, I watched the tiny, ancient television in my office as the terror attack was reported. As the morning and its harrowing events registered, my body began to shake in anger and shock. My heart filled with so much pain that I wanted to abandon my schedule, find the closest bar, and numb the intense feelings inside me -- and I'm not more than a social drinker.

It took every ounce of self-discipline I could muster to keep my heart open and remain present for my patients. But I'm glad I did, because in doing so, I was reminded of my responsibility as a physician and my duty to my patients.

I practiced very little dermatology that day, yet I ran continuously late. Most of my time was spent listening to my patients' fears and pain, offering what comfort I could, and suggesting that the way to combat terrorism was to stay open to the pain and the fear. Giving in to panic behavior, I suggested, was to let the terrorists win. [...]